"1. As he spreadeth his message of peace, love, and jokes of the knock-knock variety, Lord Jesus hath met a ne'er-do-well apprentice to a local carpenter. 2. Astonished, as He was, how similar the history of this randy gentile was to His very own. 3. Thar liveth Jeezum Crow, the son of Gosh. With his fair mother Jeez-Louise and his brother Cripes, the family worshippeth at the [false] Temple of the Holy Mackerel in the cruelest part of the desert - the village of Heck. 4. The Lord Jesus, patron of brotherhood and love, still hath found him uncouth, and very much the opposite of Him. Thar doth live a man of only bad repute. To speak of him is to speak in vain. 5. Furthermore, Jeezum hath been decreed the patron saint of expletives. 6. Should the children of the Lord want but to lasheth out, the history of this man is sour grapes indeed." -Disciplettes 16:1-6
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