Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Adverbs 14:1-2

"1. In the season of the Lord I shalt not fear the reaper, neither under the sun, nor the wind, nor the rain. I shalt live like He doth. Come on, mine babe! 2. This message of rock affirmation was brought unto thee by the adverb 'solemnly.'" -Adverbs 14:1-2

Thursday, August 4, 2011

One Hit Wonders 13:1-4

"1. Thou sayeth we hath nothing between us,
Our lives hath cometh between us,
And we art falling apart.
2. I sayeth what about breakfast at Tiffany's?
Then the voice of God did spake from above,
3. 'Breakfast with a woman not thine wife
Is adultery, a most grievous sin!
Repent, else Mine words striketh ye down!'
4. Trembling, now, she sayeth,
I think I doth remember that film line!"
-One Hit Wonders 13:1-4

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Listen to Jesus, Jimmy!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Segagenesis 5:21-25

"21. With each passing day in the Garden of Eden, the sun did shineth brilliantly and the warmth of the verdurous moss did comfort the feet of Adam and Eve. 22. Looking closely, however, it did appeareth thar was trouble in Paradise! 23. After Eve did bear the fruit of Adam's loins twice, with his sons Cain and Abel, she hath expressed to him no longer was there an interest for her in the intimate relations. The sinful cow hath dismissed her wifely duties! 24. After a great frustration, Adam did proclaim his divorce of her thereto! But suddenly the Lord's voice did boom from the Heavens, that this divorce hath become the Original Sin of mankind! 25. Nervous, Adam was, for committing this first of all sins, he did instruct his sons to go forth into the world and teacheth future generations that Original Sin hath come from their sinful mother, who disobeyed the Lord instead! Furthermore, the Lord's flock did always know this foretold reason as the Word, and it was good." -Segagenesis 5:21-25