Nutrisystemicon 2:1-3

"1. From the streets to the pastures, in the kingdom of Israel, there layeth a disquiet among the people. The children of the Lord did so love the bounty of foodstuffs great and small, from as far as Phoenicia and Thebes! They were fearful of sinful gluttony, though groweth not in bigness did they at all. 2. Suddenly, the Lord spake: 'Mine flock, knoweth that diet foodstuffs are an abonimation! Thou art eating and drinking sin, thus sin is eating and drinking thee! Repent, and be saved from empty calories!' 3. Once again, His flock did knoweth tidings of comfort and joy once again, and it was good." -Nutrisystemicon 2:1-3

Nutrisystemicon 19:4-6

"4. For God is the judge. He doth know which beverages to abase, and which to exalt. 5. For there is a cup in the hand of the Lord, and within that cup layeth Folgers. 6. And those upon the right hand of the Lord knowest that the best part of the waking hour is Folgers in thine cup." -Nutrisystemicon 19:4-6

Nutrisystemicon 38:7

"7. Furthermore, rinds of pork are an abomination. Seriously, Mine flock, what on Mine green earth art thou thinking?" -Nutrisystemicon 38:7

Nutrisystemicon 38:5-6

"5. Let us eat lettuce, give praise to the maize, gratify the pumpkin pie, enjoy the bok choi, worship the turnips, chant and sing to the chicken wings, and celebrate the Lord's forgiving with food and drink and much thanks giving. 6. But never shall ye feast on swine or directly to hell ye shalt go! Enjoy thine meal." -Nutrisystemicon 38:5-6

Nutrisystemicon 4:1-2

"1. Then the Lord did spake to the people, 'tis an abomination for His flock to eateth His other flock. This art true of all the birds of prey. Thou must not eateth predatory birds, which includeth, but art not limited to, the eagle, the vulture, the falcon, the raven, the sea gull, the hawk, the owl, the cormorant,  the stork, the heron, the phoenix, the dodo, the big bird, the mothra, and probably some more. 2. Kings of the sky, these birds doth fly so mighty, and if thou hunteth them, they will combineth to form the divine Raptorbot, angel of vengeance. So shalt be done!" -Nutrisystemicon 4:1-2

Nutrisystemicon 11:20

"20. The Lord's flock shalt never feast on the winged four-legged insects, for they are an abomination. This is also true of any insect that swarms - that they are a pestilence and not any food. Even if thou swalloweth a bug whilst riding thine iron hog along the highway, thou hath committed an unthinkable sin. It is for scorn, so sayeth the Lord." -Nutrisystemicon 11:20

Nutrisystemicon 16:1-3

‎"1.Woman shalt not prepare the feast of flesh of any animal, for she is borne of the rib of man. Forgetst not that cannibalism is an abomination. Bad tidings cometh shouldst woman eat anything of the earth at all. 2. She must deriveth nutrients from the air around her, or perhaps learneth to photosynthesize. 3. That her gullet be filled only with prayer and subordination. So sayeth Me." -Criticus 16:1-3.

Nutrisystemicon 4:20

"20. And it came to pass that the Lord forbade the eating of the fish taco and the bangers and the spotted dick, as the names of such were offensive to His Spirit. And the people saw that it was good. And it was." -Nutrisystemicon 4:20

Nutrisystemicon 16:2

"2. Seedless grapes are an abomination. They are coveted by gypsies and heathens, who covet the seeds but begets to the children of the Lord that which cannot be. Never partake in the feast of the seedless grapes. So sayeth the Lord." -Nutrisystemicon 16:2