Snuffaluffagus 8:6-8

"6. And the Lord did continue to tell His people of the dangers of Unclean sinners. 7. But His flock cried out: 'Lord! How shall we know if the Most Unclean are in our midst?' 8. And the Lord did impart these divine words of wisdom upon them: 'Hear Me now, little flock, so that thou will have knowledge in identifying Unclean sinners. He who hath smelt it, hath dealt it. He who hath denied it, hath supplied it. And he who hath noted it, hath floated it. Pay heed, and carry out My Justice.'" -Snuffaluffagus 8:6-8.

Snuffaluffagus 5:3-4

"3. And unto the men, I sayeth: After the time of urination, any more than three shakes of thine member, and thou art playing with it. Ye may become unclean in Mine eye. 4. To maketh the unclean clean, ye may dabbeth at it with a cleansing tissue."
-Snuffaluffagus 5:3-4.

Snuffaluffagus 8:21-23

"21. Know then, that it is fruitless to cough and cleareth thine throat in a most vain effort to disguise those bodily noises of an abhorrently unclean nature. 22. Those of Mine people can still heareth the foulness of thine anus, and shall snicker at thee and condemn thee for thine attempt to hide thine filth. 23. Know that it is an abominable sin when noises doth escape thine sinful parts, but an even greater sin to covereth them up, or blameth them upon the dog." -Snuffaluffagus 8:21-23.

Snuffaluffagus 3:1-3

"1. The Lord did spake, though the body of man is perfect and with miraculous faculties, the mind of man knoweth not to misuse these faculties. For though man hath hands to maketh the fists, he must not hitteth other man. 2. Likewise man must not breaketh the wind by no means! 'Tis but one instance alone to doth so - when man can privately confesseth his sins to the holy porcelain bowl. 3. A good man wouldst never committeth these other sins publicly, 'tis also true of his wind. An abomination, indeed. So, pincheth thine cheeks and holdeth it in! So sayeth the Lord." Snuffaluffagus 3:1-3

Snuffaluffagus 11:8-9

"8. Upon beholding the permanent putrescence, God spake "Let there be light!" And then a match hath been lighted then promptly snuffed. 9. And it was good once again. Do this, every time, in memory of Me." -Snuffaluffagus 11:8

Snuffaluffagus 11:5-7

"5. Upon the moving of the bowels and the making of the excrement, should an unholy reek occureth, it is considered Godly to flusheth with much haste, even beforest thou commence with the wiping. Let this be known as the Ritual of the Courtesy Flush. 6. And, upon the flushing of the excrement, should small crumblets of thine sinful and unclean waste linger, ye must performeth yet another Ritual of the Courtesy Flush. 7. If thou should fail in thine Courtesies, know that ye shall be forever marked as One Who Cavorteth With Swine, those of the Most Unclean Order." -Snuffaluffagus 11:5-7.

Snuffaluffagus 14:47

"47. And upon the daily cleansing, let only the left hand washeth the genitals and buttocks, those places of deepest shame; And the right hand washeth only the face and chest. Never shall the left hand, toucher of genitals and buttocks, come in contact with the face or chest, places of purity and righteousness. This I do command." -Snuffaluffagus 14:47.

Snuffaluffagus 24:1

"1. Thou shalt only wipe front to back, as it is the way of the Lord to keep business in the front and the party in the back." -Snuffaluffagus 24:1