Segagenesis 5:21-25

"21. With each passing day in the Garden of Eden, the sun did shineth brilliantly and the warmth of the verdurous moss did comfort the feet of Adam and Eve. 22. Looking closely, however, it did appeareth thar was trouble in Paradise! 23. After Eve did bear the fruit of Adam's loins twice, with his sons Cain and Abel, she hath expressed to him no longer was there an interest for her in the intimate relations. The sinful cow hath dismissed her wifely duties! 24. After a great frustration, Adam did proclaim his divorce of her thereto! But suddenly the Lord's voice did boom from the Heavens, that this divorce hath become the Original Sin of mankind! 25. Nervous, Adam was, for committing this first of all sins, he did instruct his sons to go forth into the world and teacheth future generations that Original Sin hath come from their sinful mother, who disobeyed the Lord instead! Furthermore, the Lord's flock did always know this foretold reason as the Word, and it was good." -Segagenesis 5:21-25

Segagenesis 26:1-4

"1. As Noah did finish with the gathering of the pairs of lovely animals into the ark, including poisonous toads, microbes, woolly mammoths and deadly cobras, the Lord appeareth on the deck before him. 2. Noah learned that he must also transporteth these things called 'dinosaur bones', which the Lord did place in steerage below. Confused he was, knowing not what a dinosaur doth mean. 3. Then the Lord spake: 'A dinosaur is not a thing that Mine hands hath ever made. But when the floods at last subside, ye must bury these bones deep in Mine earth. Thine ancestors will some day findeth these bones and marvel at them. And they will knoweth that man shalt never try to grow big and powerful like Me, for that path bringeth only doom. These bones art both Mine teaching and warning.' 4. Noah did nod in understanding, and it was good." -Segagenesis 26:1-4

Segagenesis 1:2-7

"2. And upon the first day, the Lord did create the expanse of Heaven. 3. There He does sit upon His Heavenly throne, and around Him are the Seraphim, the Cherubim, and the Orphanim. 4. Much below Them in this hierarchy layeth the Archangels and the Angels. 5. And somewhere in between layeth the Bears of Caring, who dwelleth in Care-A-Lot, a land of clouds of white and roads of rainbows. 6. And below the Bears of Caring layeth their Cousins, who dwelleth in the Forest of Feelings. 7. Pay heed and know that Care-a-Lot and the Forest of Feelings layeth outside of both Heaven and Earth, yet none are very far apart." -Segagenesis 1:2-7.

Segagenesis 2:2-7

"2. And on the seventh day, God did review his handywork and sayeth a good job was done. So then He did rest a while. 3. This nap, however, did last over sixty-five million years, though 'twas not but to be a power nap, so sayeth the Lord. Anyhow, during His slumber a foreign object did smite His creation and smite it hard. 5. And on the eighth day, God did go backwards in time and change a few details. His reason, He did spake, was quite simple. 6. It did matter not how many days He did use, for soon man would claim that seven days did a week maketh; and some months did have thirty or thirty-and-one days for not a reason at all. He did say man would inventeth a year of leaping, 'twas to laugh! 7. This lack of good judgment did make God's head hurt, so He did go rest once more. And it was good."

Segagenesis 18:1-2

"1. Even the schoolchildren doth know that thunder be made from the Lord when he doth go bowling. And the lightning be pins falling to the world of man; and they explodeth on entry into fragments of rain. 2. Of course His will is furious and His skill is divine. Though in rare occasions He doth score but a ball in the gutter. 'Tis only the blight of man, that sometimes the world be striketh in the face by His balls, big as meteors they are! Such is the workings of God." -Segagenesis 18:1-2